


Masks

by Acai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hammertime - Freeform, Happy Ending, John makes Dave feel warm and fuzzy the twat, M/M, Pepsicola, Post-Sburb, Rose and Kanaya, Sadstuck but not really, Sadstuck with a happy ending, johndave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4352267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acai/pseuds/Acai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your name is Dave Strider and you understand how dangerous masks can be. You understand that if you put a mask on and leave it there long enough, that’s who you’ll become. You understand that a mask can take over every part of you that and turn it into something else."</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>The one where Dave tries to hide everything with a mask and John does his own thing and makes DaveJohn happen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Masks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again everyone:) I am back yet again with another Pepsicola fic. Oh where oh where will the gay tyranny end? As per usual please leave your thoughts down in the comments! I'm still accepting promts like this one, which I got from Wattpad user paleflowerchild. I'm willing to take on any ship and any genre, so if you've got prompts please leave them in the comments or message me!

Your name is Dave Strider and you understand how dangerous masks can be. You understand that if you put a mask on and leave it there long enough, that’s who you’ll become. You understand that a mask can take over every part of you that and turn it into something else.

You understand that because that’s why you’re out here alone right now. Inside the house behind you is everyone that you’ve spent the last… oh god, how long _has_ it been? The last few years with. They’re inside and you’re out here because you’re not sure if you can trust yourself to be in there. Everyone is there and everyone is alive, everyone that you’ve become friends with and everyone who you lost is back. They’re in there and they’re all having a good time. You know, though, that if  you go inside then you’ll probably get caught up in the moment and let your mask slip. The mask that says you don’t care, the mask that says you’re completely fine with everything, the mask that says you’re cool. The mask you put on when you were twelve, and the mask you haven’t taken off since then. You made that mistake before, you made the mistake of not wearing a mask. When you were younger and stupid and didn’t understand the world. When you didn’t understand that red eyes weren’t normal and that being different warranted you for bullying and torment for years.

When you found out you found that your pride prevented you from admitting that you were getting picked on. You didn’t tell Bro a thing, you were worried about what he would think. You allowed yourself to continue getting picked on, and you think maybe Bro eventually caught on that when you asked if he would call the school and have them let you wear your shades all the time that maybe it wasn’t because you were just tired of teachers telling you to take them off. Maybe it was the bruises you didn’t take enough care to cover up, but you kept telling yourself it was because you only said you were fine, yet the way you acted was a dead giveaway.

You put on a mask, you acted like everything was fine and that you could care less. The act became the truth and before you knew it you really _didn’t_ care. Not in the way that you wanted, though. Not in the way that you were too cool to care what the lower losers thought about your eyes, but in the way where you just couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything. Soon, the act you put on wasn’t one to maintain status, it was one to convince people that you hasn’t lost all emotion where indeed you had. You felt numb, you felt emotionless.

Then you played a game with John and Rose and Jade. You played Sburb and met the trolls and online still you could just word things differently, but on the meteor you had to pull up and act all over again. Whenever you spent time with Rose and Kanaya you had to take a deep breath and put on a charade, you took refuge in the building of Can Town. What was the mayor going to do? Honestly, you weren’t even sure if he spoke English, much less understood human’s actions. You buried yourself in the stupidest project you’d ever worked on. When Rose would drag you out you plastered the mask back on.

Spending three years on a meteor with the same people, though, means you find yourself getting comfortable around people. Rose was your sister, and you were kind of happy to find you didn’t even have to pretend around her, because you felt that the laughs were real and the jokes weren’t a cover. Everyone there, watching them and interacting with them for three years, they made the mask harder to maintain. Not the one you kept up lately, because you were finding yourself needing that one less and less. You were having to hold up the first mask.

The more people you met the more bubbly they seemed to become. You found yourself on guard of the stupid mask each second. You were surrounded completely by people who didn’t know a thing and you weren’t about to ruin that and have middle school all over again. You forced on a mask, plastered it on and used all of your energy to uphold that mask. When the game ended and you dropped it while you practically kissed the fucking Earth because it was _done_ and all of that was _over_ you spent the entire day afterwards clawing your insides out over it, chiding yourself and letting your pride yell at you. You let your pride scream at you because you could have ruined all those _years_ of upholding a mask when you let yourself take it off.

Now, three days after that god-awful game ended, you’re out here because you don’t’ want to lose yourself in the moment and take off the mask again. You’re fairly sure that as long as they’re all in there and you’re out here, the mask will stay on. You hear the gleeful shrieks from inside and the happy chanting and you find yourself wanting to go in, but you also find yourself held out here by a fear that overpowers the want to go inside.

So you just lean against the siding and breathe out slowly. You hear clinking and laughter from inside. You wonder what they’re laughing about.

“Don’t you want to come in?” You jump, startled by the voice behind you. Your pride won’t let you forget that tonight.

“No, uh, I’m good.” You reply, leaning back against the wall as John joins you.

“We’re just setting the table for dinner so…uh, I figured I’d come to get you. Why are you out here, anyway?”

“I don’t really like get-togethers.” You brush it off in your monotone voice. John’s mouth frowns slightly. He’s thinking hard.

“I’ll stay out here with you, then.” He says decisively.

“You really don’t have to,” you tell him quickly. “You can like, go in and celebrate our not-deaths with everyone else.” His lips quirk up at your comment.

“You managed to not die too! Come in and celebrate, Dave. It’s warmer in there, and we have food.” You turn to look at him with a sigh. His piercing blue eyes are studying you closely. “I think you’d have a lot of fun if you just let down that demeanor for a bit, Dave. Like when we got out of the game…you had fun, then.”

“I’m having fun right now, John. As a matter of fact, this is the most fun I have ever _had_ before. This is _the most fun thing._ I cannot contain my joy at being in this place alive with everyone.”

“Then why are you?” You turn to face him, somewhat startled. What he said earlier, you brushed it off as a coincidence. This wasn’t a coincidence, he knew and you weren’t sure how. You uphold a staring contest with him until you find your lips on his and he lets out a briefly startled noise but falls into it all the same. As you draw back you let out a sigh and turn again, your cheeks dusted red.

“Because its better that way, John.”

“I don’t think it is. Please don’t lie to yourself Dave, just let yourself be happy for once. Let yourself be really, _truly_ happy for once. Come inside,” he takes your hand in his, gently. “For me?”

            You let him lead you inside and are greeted by warmth and the smell of food drifting in from the kitchen as the laughter grows clearer and you watch Kanaya and Rose set the table. You stay next to John and are thankful he doesn’t walk away. You stand here with him and you’re glad you let yourself be led back in. John sends you a smile and you end up on the couch with him. You’re in an argument over old movies and just this once, you let yourself take off the mask and rest it on the hook. You let yourself take down the walls, if just briefly, and if not for yourself,

 

But for John.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! Please leave your thoughts below and I hope you all enjoyed ^_^


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